Report on Christopher

I met with FCPS/ChildFind yesterday to learn the results of his interdisciplinary team evaluation. It was, for the most part, an assignment of numerical value to the developmental delays we were aware of and have observed. I was somewhat surprised at the extent to which his language delay is already impacting his development in other areas. I am posting photos of the summary and recommendations from the report, you will see that his cognitive potential, fine and gross motor skills, and social-emotional development are all below normal. The only mitigating factor is that he was extremely uncooperative on test day, which surely impacted their ability to make more accurate assessments.

There is an elegibility determination committee meeting on Thursday to determine whether or not Christopher qualifies as a disabled child for county services. Without making any pre-determination specifically regarding Christopher, the school psychologist we're working with did say that she's never seen a child with scores as low as Christopher's who didn't qualify, so we are expecting Thursday to be a formality, and that he will indeed qualify for county serves. Following his elegibility hearing, they have 30 days to put together an Individual Education Plan (IEP) to address his deficiencies. Not sure what the possible broad scope of those recommended services might be, but we expect at least that he will be referred into the special needs preschool program.

Ok, here are the summary and recommendations, I will update this post with other detials as I am able, and of course will continue to post about my boy's progress through the process. Thanks for your love and support. ♥

Congratulations Aunt Banana!!

I'm so excited! My little sister is finally on her way to home ownership! :) I can't wait to see 2886 Seminole Rd for myself!

Goose Cove B&B

Someday maybe... I like to imagine that on a little quiet plot of land I hope to inherit interest in someday, we will build a lovely log home bed and breakfast. It will have triple co-owner/manager master suites, and then maybe three or four or five other bedroom/bathroom suites, a huge cozy great room, and best of all: crazy fun kids' areas! Secret passages, fun theme bunk beds, maybe some hammocks. And not just enough kid bunks for the families of the bed/bath suites, but maybe enough for a whole scout troop, or the best birthday sleepovers ever, hm... Solar? Off the grid? Hm...

Sleep

The only way I manage to keep my sanity at all, is by getting enough sleep. My day is hard enough that I fall asleep easily at 10pm. I'm so glad Phoebe & I are on somewhat of a routine. I look forward to when JR & Christopher get into one too, I'm thinking preschool will go a long ways towards making that happen. :)

Christopher's Assessment

Little Mister Christopher had a full audiological evaluation Friday, his ears appear fine upon examination and he tested normally in the sound booth and all other testing. Then two nice ladies tag-teamed him for a play-based full developmental assessment, for about two hours. JR & I were both there. Chris behaved just as I expected, participating willingly and cooperatively in what he thought was going to be fun, protesting the less fun, and no talking. He does make most vowel sounds, and a handful of the consonants, and he pairs them, but still no real words. Friday was strictly assessment, we got no feedback. Our next meetings are a parent conference on the 24th where we will receive their combined report(s), and then an eligibility determination hearing on the 27th where it will be determined whether he is eligible for county services. Then, if he is (and I assume he will be), they have 30 days to develop an Individual Education Plan (IEP), which I think goes into effect immediately upon its development. Several people within my network have already reached out to share their experiences with developmental delay, some parents, and other professionals who have offered advocacy. I will of course keep you posted.

These are Positive Vibes Streaming from Trenton, Maine! :)

Future State Brainstorming

Wonder if my blog might be a good place to project plan... I really prefer digital composition, but there's been holes in my planning processes since I abandoned my Franklin Planner for a PDA. Perhaps I will gather all the little notes I've started at various times in various places, and put them here, where I can 'manage' them. Projects ought to be managed. I'm a process improvement professional. I often wonder why I haven't applied my profesional skills to my personal life.

Jan 1st 2011 Happy New Year!

2010 is gone. Wow. Ten years w/JR. Phoebe's seven. Chris is practically three. AJ is three. and I'm forty! Good Lordy I'm forty! I'm not big on new years' resolutions, I think any time is a good time for change, and I just don't see any value added by attaching it to a holiday. But. There sure are some changes I'd love to see come to fruition in 2011. Gotta help JR get out of his rut and into the workforce. Gotta budget smarter, spend less, and save more. Gotta get healthier. Gotta get a grip on my personal productivity.

Slow Down, December!

Good Lord... I can't believe it's less than two weeks til Christmas! I don't have plan! Ack!

Manicure Meltdown

We almost missed the bus this morning due to a manicure meltdown. Phoebe & Samara had done one another's nails yesterday, and as one might expect with child-applied polish, they needed some touch up work, which we did not have time for this morning! With the promise of an afternoon manicure, we got her settled down and off to school, not crying. And now, she's fallen asleep during her afternoon manicure! Maybe it'll get to set before she wakes up! But this Daddy-mani is bound to last longer than the Samara-mani did. :)

Phoebe

My little princess is growing up soooo fast! She's still so cute and adorable, getting sillier and smarter by the day, and becoming her own lovely little person. ♥

My Sweet, Sweet Boy

Trying to get back to my 'pics w/all posts' habit, makes for such a better looking blog. Here's one of my favorites from this weekend. I have the most beautiful children!! ♥

Christmas Mission!

I have this Christmas project that's been brewing in the back of my mind for months. It's one gift I can give to everyone on my list, and I can update and give it year after year - a family calendar! I will still buy presents for all kiddos and other special recipients, but I think a family calendar, pre-populated with birthdays/etc, would make a darn fine gift for the many others whom I love. I've only today just started tinkering, and already I'm hoping it'll become a beloved family tradition. I'll be soliciting photos, and maybe little yearly re-cap blurbs, and hm... what else? :) I love this kinda stuff!

The Fuller Thanksgiving

We spent most of yesterday at Papa & Grandma Lynn's for the traditional not-on-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving. Every time we go, JR & I both leave feeling like we should really do that more often. JR tends to forget that he is enjoying the relationship that he has with his Dad since becoming a Dad himself, so he still resists going, but always enjoys it. And for me it's Granny, I always feel like I should should visit more with her and let her spend some more time w/my kids. She's a frail old lady, who knows how many more holidays we have with her. She says goodbye at each as if it were the last, but I always leave thinking I'll see her again at the next Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter. I know I'll be wrong at some point, probably in the not too far distant future. She's 84, or that's what she said yesterday anyway, I'll have to check my records on that one. She still mourns the loss of her husband and daughter. I speculated aloud about her life w/Jason, and JR said he treats her well, but I bet he doesn't. He's an ignorant loud-mouthed nincompoop. I wonder who cooks? Who cleans?

A blog Mom shared recently has planted a seed in me: if you want more or less of something, anything, in your life, measure it. Now this is a concept my process-improvement-brain can get right on board with! My sense of looming change has not settled with my relocation, which probably means I have more work to do. :)

Full Developmental/Preschool Evaluation

I met with  FCPS Early Childhood Special Education Preschool Program's Local Screening Committee on Tuesday 11/16 and, as expected, Christopher was recommended for an initial evaluation to determine if he has a disability and requires special education. He is scheduled for three assessments, all on Friday 07 January 2011: 1) "Sociocultural" which is developmental history, family background, adaptive behavior, medical status, and educational history; 2) "Audiological" which is a complete assessment of hearing; and 3) the "Developmental"/Preschool looks at the areas of adaptive, cognitive, physical, communication, and social/emotional.

At this early stage, the process is more about determining his eligibility for county services. I'm sure later the process will shift to focus on identifying those services from which he will derive the most benefit, but in the meantime, I am wondering if we should start him in speech therapy right away through our medical coverage. I can't imagine how that would not be a good thing, but will probably check w/his designated social worker to a) make sure it won't impact his eligibility for county services, and b) to see if I can start services now with the same providers who the county might use anyway, so his therapy would continue uninterrupted.

I have a lot to learn about advocating for my "special needs" child, even if it is just in the short term. I sincerely hope that our Little Mister Christopher is in fact experiencing a temporary delay, and that therapy and treatment will get him fully up to speed quickly. While I am ready/willing/able to advocate for him, however much and for however long it takes, I do hope that his special needs will not need advocating throughout his entire schooling.

Stability < _____ < Lottery

Dianne, I know that stability is at the very tip top of your list when it comes to employment criteria. And I know that Plan B is all set for if/when you when the lottery. I'm asking you to think somewhere in between those parameters. Let's say, hypothetically, you won, not the lottery, but an annuity equivalent to your current income and benefits, so the "stability" part of the equation is solved, then what would you do with your days? What would be more satisfying that just stability, but not as fabulous as winning the lottery?

For the Record: I HATE the DC Commute!

I knew that returning to NoVA to work in DC would mean a significant change to my commute. I knew it would be more expensive and more time consuming. But dammit I can't take it! I spend $301.90/mo for my VRE/Metro ticket, which is actually cheaper than it would be for gas into and out of DC plus parking in DC, but it's still a lot of money. But what pains me even more is the time! I had a 20min commute in Hampton, and now I have a 1½hr commute - that's 3hrs/day - on top of an 8hr work day! So if I bust my ass and take no breaks, I still have to spend ELEVEN hours apart from my home and family - it blows!

I tried to warn Ken when I started that the commute to DC was most unappealing, and asked if I might be able to work from home (or our Fairfax office) a couple days a week, but was denied, because "presence" is such a key part of our support. Well "presence" is a key part of a happy home-life too, and I ain't gettin' enough!

Plus, when Ken hired me, he said he was BUSY and needed help, so that he would not be working so many late hours. But as it turns out, Ken still works those late hours, and I am, to some degree, expected to "make myself useful" in SEA05Z where we have funding, but where the clients are not routinely using our support. I struggled for too long to "make myself useful" at SUPSHIP Newport News, with limited success, and am not keen on having to solicit/generate my own work.

So, if things continue along this path, which I think they will, I am already mentally preparing myself to give this job one year, then I'm going to move on. I don't have a plan yet, and won't make the same mistake this time of announcing my intentions to my boss and clients before I do have another plan, but a plan is indeed brewing.

Language Delay

We are on the road to having his language issues identified so we can get that boy talking! Our "case" goes before Fairfax County Early Childhood Special Education Preschool Program's Local Screening Committee on Tuesday 16 November. We are expecting he will be referred into the system for services.

My work friend, Michele, knew of a mutual contact whose child also exhibited developmental delays at about age three, so she put Dave & I in touch by email, we may meet for a bit on Tuesday if our work schedules permit. His son was diagnosed with Severe Apraxia, which of course I immediately Googled, and while I am not jumping to conclusions, many of the Apraxia indicators do seem to fit w/our Christopher's typical behavior. The Family Start Guide at Apraxia-Kids.org was a decent intro.

I told JR yesterday that his new job starts soon: he's about to become a full-time speech therapist. Whatever Christopher's particular language development diagnosis is, I feel certain he will be registered for at least speech therapy, and my initial research indicates that most parents have success with therapy at least three times per week. And of course the success of therapy depends on the willingness/ability of children and parents to practice at home. I hope therapy with a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) includes teaching the parents, I'm thinking language therapy would be most effective done ALL THE TIME, we've got to turn language use into fun 24/7 language therapy.

The Return of "My Little Contribution . . ."

I often waffle between wanting to share my blog and wanting to keep it private, so I think I've finally come to a "system" of sorts: facebook for the world, My Little Contribution for those who are more interested, and a new totally private blog for my 'Dear Diary' type stuff. So, I moved my most private posts to the other blog, and I'm opening this one back up, no invite required, so that My Little Contribution can be what I intended: my little contribution to the internets. :) I don't like that there are now months with no entries, but oh well, I needed those months to myself.

L4-5 Spondylolisthesis

So, I've been experienceing low back pain since Christopher was about six months old. I always figured it was just the extra thirty pounds I carry, plus the extra 25 or 45 I also routinely heft about. My chiro called it "lumbar disfunction" but his treatments didn't help much, so I quit going. On bad days I would take Tylenol or Motrin, but mostly I just lived with it, blaming myself, and hoping I wasn't being a nag about my back.

Well, JR setup an orthopaedic eval for me, so we went in together when he went in for his post-op check-up. JR is healing nicely, no longer needs the neck brace or any pain meds, got his stiches out, and is reporting total and complete relief. I, however, have a bone spur in my L4-5, probably arthritic. So now I get to take arthritis meds, and they're going to do some physical therapy to stop any spur-induced slippage toward what might have become a real slipped disc.

I'm glad I went in. I'm glad it's not just that I'm fat and lazy. I'm glad the pain in my low back will diminish with once/daily pills and six weeks of specific exercise.

Goodbye Comfort Zone

I came home very anxious about sharing some very uncomfortable information with JR. I was worried mostly about the info itself, but almost as much about helping JR deal with it. To my absolute delight, he responded with only LOVE and SUPPORT - thank GOD, because if he'd put out even an OUNCE of bad vibe I might have lost it! He listened well, responded appropriately, gave me a hug, and started working on a plan - can't ask for better.

So... Short Version: I have been unable to get + remain sufficiently engaged at work since CDR Brougham left, for a variety of both personal and professional reasons. It was a slowly deteriorating situation, nothing sudden. About six weeks ago I was asked to basically get more fully engaged again or risk my contract not being renewed, which is not a very effective means of me getting more engaged, so of course it didn't work.

I am editing this in fits and spurts as time allows, so I'll leave this paragraph so you'll know it's a work in progress until I'm done.

Move Back to Northern Virginia

So, I mentioned to Tommy today that JR & I are starting to consider returning to NoVA. Tommy is mostly my COR, but also my friend, whom I trust to both keep my plans private while it's prudent to do so, and to help me develop and present those plans in a most favorable manner. My current contract expires at the end of October. Now I need to figure out how, when, and exactly where. Job first, hopefully still Dell. This summer if possible? Or next. And probably either Fairfax or Loudon County, still needs further research.

Let me start w/the pipe dream: I'll take a modest pay cut to facilitate the job search, and to leverage a signing bonus or relocation reimbursement. I will find a RENTAL and be glad to be rid of the maintenance associated with home/yard ownership. It'll be a non-breed-discriminating, pet-friendly, garden style, ground level condo, with great amenities.

My Poor Phoebe :(

Aw, poor Phoebe threw up in the shower, a lot, but then brushed her teeth and washed her face, but then complained of weakness, couldn't even hold her own towel, then she asked if her arm and leg pain had anything to do w/the throw-up, and then FELL ASLEEP when I started w/my answer! And I mean whole-body-twitch, gently snoring, asleep! Fresh from the shower. Wtf.

I Want a Sabbatical

I wonder why sabbaticals are most common in academia, where they already typically get summers off? I want a sabbatical! Wikipedia says academic sabbaticals typically run at seven-year intervals of full-time employment, with the most common arrangement for a half-year at full pay, or a full year at half pay. I WANT THAT!! I'm a big fan of "it never hurts to ask" so maybe when I'm ready to make my next career move, if it's still w/Dell, I'll ask for a sabbatical to coincide w/the transition. Or maybe I'll follow Phoebe's suggestion and get into academia so I can at least get summers off w/her!

My GTI :)

I'm off to an 09:30 appt @VW to get my new [to me] GTI all checked out!

XO LT Rado

I found LT Rado on Facebook, and asked him outright - why?

Family Wordle

Yay @ Personal Business Allowance!

I'm so psyched that Dell employees get 80hrs/yr for PBA! I no longer have to burn my vacation time for sick days, doctors appointments, parent/teacher conferences, etc. It's been YEARS since I had any type of sick leave benefit, this is great. Plus Dell's benefits are way better than Perot's anyway, more choices and less expensive. This is working out nicely so far. :)

Ouch. More Please.

Ok, so I facebook-friended a very senior client. I value his opinion, but receiving constructive criticism is not something I'm accustomed to or familiar with. He said "* You do need to work a bit on your Facebook posts. Many fall into the category “I am eating soup now,” which is hard for me to imagine others find very interesting. There is a fine line between keeping friends and colleagues up to date on important things in your life and internet assisted navel gazing.”

Dell Perot

I'm hoping to use the Dell/Perot acquisition as inspiration for other change.

Irony

I've been tinkering w/my blog (obviously) and set it to show only the last two posts. Every time the page has loaded since my last post, the irony strikes me of "a raise" followed immediately thereafter by a "shape up" notice. Hm. I am already realizing the benefits of why I needed to get my schedule and focus together - it feels way better to have full productive days than short distracted days.

I've also been tinkering w/Phoebe's blog, which is what led me to tinker w/rss feeds, which is what led to the extensive tinkering of both my smfuller and mypsgs blogs. Neat. Distracting. Not nearly as distracting though as facebook still is! My friends list is mostly MDIHS'ers, many of whom are still on the Island, or elsewhere in Maine. Their status notes make me miss home. Well, not all that rain, good lord.

I'm the unofficial code social coordinator - we end up having a pot luck lunch about once every two months - today we're having Taco's. I'm off to find some sort of teambuilding/icebreaker activity or game or something. :)

Shape Up or Ship Out

Okay... I should have known this was coming... I just got warned to either shape up or ship out. Shame on me. Time to implement some of the changes I've been stewing on for far too long, starting with getting my lazy ass to work in time for the morning huddle, being involved is the only way to be useful. Being frustrated with ones SELF is the worst. :(

Good News - a Raise!

The good news is that Perot lifted its hold on merit pay increases. The cost-saving measure was effective for Perot Systems Corporate, but most Perot Systems Government Services contracts INCLUDE escalation clauses - so freezing our pay was actually hurting company revenue.

My 4.6% increase didn't at first seem all that great, until I put it in perspective - it's kinda like compound interest - 4.6% of my fresh-out-of-college salary wasn't much - but THIS 4.6% is just over $350/month (before taxes anyway) - that should make a noticeable difference (even after taxes).

Rather than normal bills, I'm hoping to redirect this raise to an online investment account. I still have to find and setup said investment account, but I'm determined to get investing. I'm already looking forward to the fun of tracking and managing - better get my horse in front of the cart. :)

Birdy Family

There are a couple brave birdy families who have built nests on our front porch and in the honeysuckle at our garage back door. We watched the nests form (remarkably quickly), and soon enough there were eggs. The birdys flit away angrily every time we go in or out, but that's their problem, we were there first. JR loves having the birdy families around - and is currently furious with his kitty for killing one of the parents. We hear the other little birdy singing and calling for its partner, and it makes JR so sad that there's no answer. That's twice now I've seen JR uncharacteristically moved by birds - last year it was a momma duck and her trail of little quacklings, and now these little songbirds. He's softer and sweeter than he would like to admit.

Seriously Need a Break

I have been at this far too long to have never taken a break. I am starting to really resent all the demands on my time, even the perfectly legit ones. Somehow I'm no longer entitled to any "me" time, at all, none. My every waking moment is spent servicing and supporting my household. And it tears me up to feel that resentment towards the people I love most!

First Layoffs

I've been feeling so fortunate, to be so confidently gainfully employed during such global economic uncertainty. Perot [Govt Services] just let go six associates - out of 3300 that's not bad (unless you happen to be one of the six). I've been feeling "the itch" - the professional restlessness I ususally experience after a few years at any job: time to move on. This "reduction in staff" announcement has been a little reminder that I don't have it so bad.

The Circle Game

I absolutely LOVE that Phoebe's most favorite and most-requested lullaby is Joni Mitchell's Circle Game. I've been singing it to her for so long, that it doesn't sound right to my ear anymore when I hear Joni Mitchell's version! I changed it to be about a little girl when I started singing it for Phoebe, and now I sometimes can't get it right for Christopher, he gets a mixed girl/boy version. :)

But boy... the circle game is kicking my ASS lately. My daily grind is reasonably palatable, but it's still the daily grind. I need to train myself to be my own life coach, to be a better prioritizer, to be my own motivator, always trying to set a better example. I think my parents were better parents than their parents were, I want to be even better, and I want Phoebe to strive for even better! That's a tall order on all accounts.

Okay, off to try for a productive day at work. I'm fighting off a cold or something, and it's easier and more restful to go to work than it is to stay home w/JR & Christopher! What a nut job I married.

The Gospel of Mary

I can't find it now, but yesterday I found a summary of the Gospel of Mary that enlightened me to the idea that there are tons of other historical gospel and/or gnostic writings that were not included in the Bible. For someone as comfortable as I am w/my own spiritual standing, I sure do spend a fair amount of time wondering about it... I'm not much interested in pursuing an advanced degree, but I'm toying with the idea of taking community college classes for the fun of it. I think I'd enjoy a woodworking class, some exploratory religious classes, maybe some psychology... that doesn't sound like a bad way to get some "me" time! :)

Mourning the End of an Era

Little Mister Christopher & I are on day three w/no boobs. While I am anxious to have my body to myself again, I do already miss spending that quiet intimate time with him. Plus there's nothing more convenient than whippin' out a boob - I hate having to make bottles, especially in the middle of the night.

Then I remind myself that our nursing had turned into a game for him - lets see how Mommy reacts when I bite this one! I wonder if it'll hurt when I smack the other one! Latch on. Let go. Latch on. Let go. So it wasn't really all that quiet intimacy I like to remember anymore anyway. :)

Wholly Unproductive

There are several factors impacting my ability to be productive at work. I'm not sure which is the most influential factor, so I'm gonna have to tackle them all simultaneously. The first and most obvious is facebook - holy cow what an addiction! I'm feeling very close to all my "friends" (many of whom I would not even have remembered if not for facebook, so how close could they really be, right?). If self-discipline doesn't prevail soon, I may request intervention - like maybe suggest the IT Dept block the site! But I'll try less drastic measures first, like maybe set aside ten minutes twice a day to facebook.

Another factor is my mgmt. I was brought on by the "prior administration" who was familiar with my strenghts, he knew how to utilize my talents, and did so without much regard to office politics. When I spoke w/the current CDR about my being more helpful to her, she kinda said professional development wasn't her bailywick and din't offer much guidance. The current civilian manager won't do much for fear of stepping on union toes. And my PSGS management is absolutely 100% clueless regarding my day-to-day work, if my customers don't complain and keep awarding task order extensions, then PSGS considers my performance "distinguished"!

Another, less approachable factor, is federal bureaucracy. I have long been frustrated that the Navy can safely oversee the construction of nuclear-powered vessels, but can't manage to track its own commitments. C'mon! Even if I was a govt civilian, I wouldn't be able to push the change that needs to happen in that organization, and I ESPECIALLY can't do it as a contractor!

Ok, more later, I'm off the walk the doggy, good night! XOXO :) SMF

President Obama

Well finally! I actually thought there'd be a woman in the White House before a black guy, but I couldn't be happier that it's the Obamas. I have yet to form much of a political opinion of him, this election has been, for me, more about race relations than anything else, and I'm tickled pink that we now have black President! I'm glad there's little girls running around the White House. I think Barack & Michelle are a fine marital example. Now we'll see how he does at the job... I'm hopeful.

An Epiphany

I went to sleep hungry last night (ignoring my munchies), and struggled to get to sleep. As my mind wandered, I had an epiphany! I'm a damn Process Improvement professional - and I need to apply my work skills to my personal life! I know how to optimize things, my life should not run as haphazardly as it does. I'll start w/a bona fide "Executive Planning Session" (EPS), from which other efforts will follow, like probably a real 5yr/10yr Plan, with goals and objectives, and hopefully even household process improvements, like schedules and rules and such, that can help our day-to-day goings on. Define. Measure. Analyze. Improve. Control. I'm going to DMAIC my life. Wish me luck.

After my epiphany, I got up at 2am and had a bowl of Honey Smacks, played again, then went back to bed and slept soundly until two snoozes after the alarm first went off. Phoebe had gone to bed early as promised, Christopher had slept through the night, so my day got off to a reasonable start. I even managed to get Phoebe onto the bus, which came early, despite having gotten her off to a 25min late start. I am Mom, hear me roar.

I Still ❤️ VII Corps

My beef was always only with racist individuals and spineless enablers. I never held a grudge against the Army or VII Corps. In 2009 I established and still administer the now 1.6K member U.S. Army VII Corps Facebook Group.

Top Front Tooth!

 There's a little corner of a top front tooth poking through! It's fun watching him play with it, after all the 'agony' it seems to have caused (based on the fuss factor). I'll try to get a pic before I put him to bed.

They're both sick, I stayed home. She went to bed voluntarily w/no bedtime chocolate milk at like 19:45 (normal bedtime is 20:30/21:00). My poor babies. Snot city. I have my eye on one of those battery powered nasal aspirators.

JR & I had a nice, close, communicative day. That's always nice.

Condotel

I thought I had come up w/something ingenious! Based on my pie-in-the-sky desire for a life of utter convenience, I day-dreamed of a condo w/all the conveniences of a hotel and more. I was thinking typical upscale hotel amenities, plus: super family-friendly, kid-focused, lotsa fun stuff to do; some kinda restaurant/full-service kitchen; maybe a resident nurse; a vet tech/groomer/boarder & doggy daycare; and of course upscale automotive tinkering facilities.

Well, they have condo/hotels all over the world, my idea wasn't so ingenious afterall. But they're all luxury, and resorty, I'm not into that. I want basic, reasonable surroundings... I just want them custom-tailored and spoon fed. Oh well. I suppose if I really want it, I'll just have to find a way to develop, sell, and build it! Hey, why not? It could happen. It could.

Seven Years

I've been w/Perot for seven years now - Wow! I sent a quick thank you to the guy who hired me, I enjoyed his brief response: "One of my smarter moves." :) Ken is one of three boss-types who have made a big difference in both my personal and professional life. 1st there was a client, Greg Johnson, USCG Captain of the USCGC Healy acquisition program. He sponsored regular "collaborative dynamics" sessions that had us teamworking like nobody's business! It was the best environment I've ever worked in. Plus Greg is a sweetheart! Then 2nd there's Ken. Ken Carrick. Soon after Ken hired me, JR & I hit a big trouble spot. I would arrive at work in total shambles. Ken would close his office door. Open the blinds (so everyone could see us). And let me talk for as long as I needed. He never offered any advice, and no criticism, just an ear. His compassion saved my job, and probably my marriage. And now I have a 3rd, my "Contracting Officer's Representative" (COR) Tommy Walker. His daughter is my age and in somewhat similar circumstances, so he comes to me for help advising her. He tolerates my habitual tardiness, knowing that it's my kids who are taking my time - an opportunity he wishes he had taken w/his own. I'm very fortunate. My favorite part of any job has always been the people. Oh yeah, of course it helps to be getting piad damn near six figures, but really, it's the people! :)

Best Love Letter Ever!

One1 thoer wuz a litl [pic of girl] name'd Phoebe She like't WALL-e (dvd). She oso love hur Mommy and she love hur daddy Love Phoebe [heart] i love u mommy and hur daddy. xoxoxo

I'm told the two hearts at the top are ours, hers with a hole in it for me (like the card she received recently with the hole in the heart for how much Grandma misses Phoebe).

Heels & Hose

I pretty much gave up on high heels when I was pregnant w/Phoebe... then I gave up the pantyhose when I carried Christopher. Life here in HR is leading me more toward warm jeans and comfortable work shoes... I had almost forgotten that with just a skirt, some hose, and some nail polish, I can feel all girly and pretty! :)

It Flurried This Morning :)

We got our first little snowflakes this morning, unfortunately they stopped before we went out to wait for the school bus. It occurred to me as I bundled Phoebe up, that I ought to also bundle myself up. I typically wear a heavy coat, but don't bother w/hats and gloves and such. But it's so WINDY and COLD at work near the waterfront, I am determined to properly outfit myself for this winter. Even if it's just walks to/from the car, there's no need to freeze my buns off! I love, love, love my beautiful black wool swing coat (especially since I had a friend re-line it in BRIGHT pink!), but it's too wide-open to be warm - gotta get me a parka of sorts, and a hat that won't squish my hairdo, and some grippy gloves.

It's My Party & I'll Cry If I Want To...

Ok, I got distracted from my blog in favor of facebook for a while, but now that I have 100+ facebook friends, I find myself not wanting to share EVERYTHING with EVERYONE, so I am reclaiming my blog for myself! I think it's only my parents and sister who ever go here, maybe a random internet surfer. I've had a blog post brewing in my head for a while that I know I don't want to share w/the world called "I'm Tired!" and will be glad to get it out of my head and into words. Soon, maybe.

Brokety Broke

My annual salary is pushing six figures, but here I sit, at work, hungry, with no lunch and no lunch money. How pathetic. Almost forty, living just beyond my means, paycheck to paycheck, with no emergency reserves - as always... it's easily my greatest source of frustration and anxiety. The solution supposedly being within my grasp only adds to my frustration at not reaching it, rather than inspiring me to reach a little harder. I've done it all wrong - went crazy into debt, filed bankruptcy, withdrawn from my 401(k), borrowed from my 401(k), never managed any real savings... it's just an endless list of how to NOT manage personal finances.