Friday, November 22, 2013


[None of us have it.] But my friend at work, Larry, he does. I didn't know him before his cancer, so I don't know how's it's changed him, but he's kinda cool now, so he was probably even cooler before, right? So I just got off the phone w/Larry's wife (who works for an endodontist - root canal specialist) and was checking fb to see if she was on his fb page so I could 'friend' her (she's not) and got distracted by fb and wound up over here at, where I found Stephanie Lee's story, and these haunting words describing what happens when a scientist looks through the microscope at cancer, after having just viewed beautiful healthy cells:

"The cells will get longer and more crowded. Everything will become more chaotic." But he didn't even have to say it. The change was atmospheric as much as it was visible. A good neighborhood had given way to a bad one; a bucolic past had yielded to a dystopian future. A riot had gone on. The eggs of the epithelium had been stepped on, by pitiless boots; the bright colors of the smooth-muscle cells now swirled in toxic pools, the sheen of industrial aftermath. Stained indigo, the machinery at the very heart of the cells—the mitotic spindles that are the signature of cell division—were apparent, but they were also everywhere, like popcorn boxes after a matinee, part of the cellular debris, the litter of cells dividing so fast they die.

Monday, September 16, 2013

WNY Shelter in Place

Friday, June 14, 2013

The Circle Game

I've been singing this song to Phoebe since before she was born. I love it for so many reasons, not the least of which is that my mother also sang it to me. It's so full of meaning and imagery. Phoebe's been asking me a lot lately to sing it, I'm so glad she doesn't seem to be tiring of hearing it, because I'm certainly not tiring of singing it. :) And gosh, says it's been re-recorded by 192 different artists! I love re-makes, so I'll be checking out some of the other versions. In my version, it's about a little girl instead of a little boy, and I've been singing it that way for so long that it actually sounds odd to me when I hear the original lyrics. I wonder what else others have done with it to make it their own.

Yesterday a child came out to wander
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, "When you're older", must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town
And they tell him, "Take your time. It won't be long now
'Til your drag your feet to slow the circles down"

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and 'round and 'round
In the circle game

And go round and round and round in the circle game


Thursday, June 13, 2013

My Little Inspiration... {Mod 02}

{Original Post Tue 2/02} Ok the post title is a nod to my blog title. And this post is going to be about those things in my blog header, and how each of them made the list. I am going to edit and update this post occasionally, rather than try to get it all out at once. So here's a cut 'n paste of the header which I will revise to keep current, and make bold the individual items as I do the elaborationas it stands today, stay tuned for some elaboration... {Mod 02 Thu 6/13}

"Inspired Mostly by My Children ♥ and by ^Acceptance Accountability Adventure Awareness Balance Challenge Charity Childhood Commitment Community Compassion Courage Devotion Dreams Empathy Equity ^Exploration Faith Family Generosity Grace Honor Hope Humility Humor Improvement Innocence Intactivism Intelligence Integrity Joy Justice Kindness Laughter ^Liberty Life Love Loyalty Motherhood Nature Opportunity Optimism Possibility Purpose Reality Spirituality Sportsmanship Strength Transparency Truth Whimsy "Um... Oh! and World Peace."

{Mod 01 Fri 2/08} First and foremost, obviously, are My Children ♥. Being a Mom has given me unimaginable joy, a strong sense of purpose, and the most amazing sense of perspective. Having them has brought me growth, strength, and passion on one hand, and heartache and fear on the other hand. I feel so blessed and proud and pleased with what I am able to do with and for my children, and my heart aches so for the children who aren't as loved and doted upon as they all deserve to be, for the children who suffer instead of thrive, and my heart aches most for the beloved children who were torn from the love of their families and thrust into the evil that pervades us.

{Mod 02} Next up, because it's at the forefront of my awareness lately, is one of my newest additions to the header, Liberty. I'm no constitutional scholar, but darned if our rights aren't being whittled away in the name of security. Where's the personal responsibility? We don't need to government to 'protect' us if it requires they invade our privacy! I'm totally disgusted and discouraged that they have done so, so sweepingly, and so secretly, despite the very explicit 4th Amendment constitutional protections against it! More to come on this one...

{Mod 02} This one's easy, "Um... Oh! and World Peace" is a quote from Sandra Bullock's character in the cute little movie Miss Congeniality. In response to the beauty pageant question 'what's your wish for the future' she was adamant about giving a meaningful answer, rather than the standard 'world peace' answer. But when her thoughtful answer (about I-can't-even-remember-what) resulted in a stunned, silent audience, she looked around in disbelief trying to figure out what to say ("Um..."), then realized ("Oh!"), and begrugingly added "and world peace" to earn the audience's approval and applause. I just love the way she delivered that line.

{Mod 02} I crack myself up. This strikethrough/underline markup thing is carried over from my work. Why do I feel compelled to disclose my own blog edits?! My submarine specification work's got me well-indoctrinated. :)

More Ordinary

{0923 Thu 6/13} Last night's dreams were also more normal and less memorable, but the in the bits I do remember, my family and my SUPSHIP Newport News friends were at some big hotel/frat-house type place at some big, rambling, low-key party. My family was sober, but my colleagues were very tipsy, and I was trying to introduce JR to my dear friend Jerry Dudley, and I was irritated because JR was too busy chasing Christopher around and Jerry was too drunk to be polite.

{0609 Wed 6/12} Dreams were more normal, just lotsa motorcycling, mopeding, ATVing, and scootering around real fast. Also less vivid and less memorable.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Darn Character Limitations

I wanted to add three new words to my blog header, and I came up with a short/neat way to indicate those which are new, but apparently I'm up against my 500 character limit, because I couldn't add even one of them. Grr.
They would have been ^Acceptance ^Exploration and ^Liberty. Time to re-tinker.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Terminal Velocity

More crazy Chantix dreams in which JR and I go on a drug-buying in front of Phoebe, bj-giving in front of Mom, gun-shooting, week-long trespassing camping spree. Chris got shot in the chest by accident but was okay and I wasn't mad. Craziness!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Weird Chantix Dreams

Minh Thu's long lost mother, nb re-doing Fred & Ellens bathroom, and the wild baby animal spawning room, and the baby lion who ate three newborns including a zebra.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Bloggin' via Txt :)

{6/04} So maybe if you're here you've already have that noticed that I'm blogging more, and it's mostly because I finally got around to setting it up to blog via email and text, it's been fun. Plus, since "a picture is worth a thousand words" I decided photo-only blogging is perfectly legit! :)

{6/09} Ok I re-considered and changed my mind about photo-only blogging. Those are not part of "my" little contribution, those are "other people's" contributions. But they're still worth keeping, so I made a "Quotes" board on Pinterest and put them all there, links over there -->

Friday, June 7, 2013

I Keep Meaning to Start Yoga

Wii Fit Plus Yoga should suffice. :)

A Deep Path

A single footstep will not make a path on the earth,
so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.
To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.
To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over
the thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
~Henry David Thoreau
Statue Stairs, Kyoto, Japan

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Edna St. Vincent Millay's "The Suicide"

I'm just posting it to have it, I have a feeling I might decide I want to keep it.

Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892–1950). Renascence and Other Poems. 1917.

“CURSE thee, Life, I will live with thee no more!
Thou hast mocked me, starved me, beat my body sore!
And all for a pledge that was not pledged by me,
I have kissed thy crust and eaten sparingly
That I might eat again, and met thy sneers5
With deprecations, and thy blows with tears,—
Aye, from thy glutted lash, glad, crawled away,
As if spent passion were a holiday!
And now I go. Nor threat, nor easy vow
Of tardy kindness can avail thee now        10
With me, whence fear and faith alike are flown;
Lonely I came, and I depart alone,
And know not where nor unto whom I go;
But that thou canst not follow me I know.”
Thus I to Life, and ceased; but through my brain        15
My thought ran still, until I spake again:
“Ah, but I go not as I came,—no trace
Is mine to bear away of that old grace
I brought!  I have been heated in thy fires,
Bent by thy hands, fashioned to thy desires,        20
Thy mark is on me!  I am not the same
Nor ever more shall be, as when I came.
Ashes am I of all that once I seemed.
In me all’s sunk that leapt, and all that dreamed
Is wakeful for alarm,—oh, shame to thee,        25
For the ill change that thou hast wrought in me,
Who laugh no more nor lift my throat to sing!
Ah, life, I would have been a pleasant thing
To have about the house when I was grown
If thou hadst left my little joys alone!        30
I asked of thee no favor save this one:
That thou wouldst leave me playing in the sun!
And this thou didst deny, calling my name
Insistently, until I rose and came.
I saw the sun no more.—It were not well        35
So long on these unpleasant thoughts to dwell,
Need I arise to-morrow and renew
Again my hated tasks, but I am through
With all things save my thoughts and this one night,
So that in truth I seem already quite        40
Free and remote from thee,—I feel no haste
And no reluctance to depart; I taste
Merely, with thoughtful mien, an unknown draught,
That in a little while I shall have quaffed.”
Thus I to Life, and ceased, and slightly smiled,        45
Looking at nothing; and my thin dreams filed
Before me one by one till once again
I set new words unto an old refrain:
“Treasures thou hast that never have been mine!
Warm lights in many a secret chamber shine        50
Of thy gaunt house, and gusts of song have blown
Like blossoms out to me that sat alone!
And I have waited well for thee to show
If any share were mine,—and now I go!
Nothing I leave, and if I naught attain        55
I shall but come into mine own again!”
Thus I to Life, and ceased, and spake no more,
But turning, straightway, sought a certain door
In the rear wall. Heavy it was, and low
And dark,—a way by which none e’er would go        60
That other exit had, and never knock
Was heard thereat,—bearing a curious lock
Some chance had shown me fashioned faultily,
Whereof Life held content the useless key,
And great coarse hinges, thick and rough with rust,        65
Whose sudden voice across a silence must,
I knew, be harsh and horrible to hear,—
A strange door, ugly like a dwarf.—So near
I came I felt upon my feet the chill
Of acid wind creeping across the sill.        70
So stood longtime, till over me at last
Came weariness, and all things other passed
To make it room; the still night drifted deep
Like snow about me, and I longed for sleep.
But, suddenly, marking the morning hour,        75
Bayed the deep-throated bell within the tower!
Startled, I raised my head,—and with a shout
Laid hold upon the latch,—and was without.

    .    .    .    .    .    .
Ah, long-forgotten, well-remembered road,
Leading me back unto my old abode,        80
My father’s house!  There in the night I came,
And found them feasting, and all things the same
As they had been before. A splendour hung
Upon the walls, and such sweet songs were sung
As, echoing out of very long ago,        85
Had called me from the house of Life, I know.
So fair their raiment shone I looked in shame
On the unlovely garb in which I came;
Then straightway at my hesitancy mocked:
“It is my father’s house!” I said and knocked;        90
And the door opened. To the shining crowd
Tattered and dark I entered, like a cloud,
Seeing no face but his; to him I crept,
And “Father!” I cried, and clasped his knees, and wept.
Ah, days of joy that followed!  All alone        95
I wandered through the house. My own, my own,
My own to touch, my own to taste and smell,
All I had lacked so long and loved so well!
None shook me out of sleep, nor hushed my song,
Nor called me in from the sunlight all day long.        100
I know not when the wonder came to me
Of what my father’s business might be,
And whither fared and on what errands bent
The tall and gracious messengers he sent.
Yet one day with no song from dawn till night        105
Wondering, I sat, and watched them out of sight.
And the next day I called; and on the third
Asked them if I might go,—but no one heard.
Then, sick with longing, I arose at last
And went unto my father,—in that vast        110
Chamber wherein he for so many years
Has sat, surrounded by his charts and spheres.
“Father,” I said, “Father, I cannot play
The harp that thou didst give me, and all day
I sit in idleness, while to and fro        115
About me thy serene, grave servants go;
And I am weary of my lonely ease.
Better a perilous journey overseas
Away from thee, than this, the life I lead,
To sit all day in the sunshine like a weed        120
That grows to naught,—I love thee more than they
Who serve thee most; yet serve thee in no way.
Father, I beg of thee a little task
To dignify my days,—’tis all I ask
Forever, but forever, this denied,        125
I perish.”
          “Child,” my father’s voice replied,
“All things thy fancy hath desired of me
Thou hast received. I have prepared for thee
Within my house a spacious chamber, where
Are delicate things to handle and to wear,        130
And all these things are thine. Dost thou love song?
My minstrels shall attend thee all day long.
Or sigh for flowers?  My fairest gardens stand
Open as fields to thee on every hand.
And all thy days this word shall hold the same:        135
No pleasure shalt thou lack that thou shalt name.
But as for tasks—” he smiled, and shook his head;
“Thou hadst thy task, and laidst it by,” he said.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Christopher Quote

"The horses can fix your Humpty Dumpty togever again. Aw... fank you."

We're Going to Disney!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Remember to Eat

I often get so involved in my work that I don't think about eating lunch until I'm starving, which is usually well after the two nearby base eateries close at 2pm-ish. I actually set myself up a daily 1pm reminder that says "You'll feel better later if you eat now. Just sayin'." It would be even better (tastier, more affordable, and more convenient) if I would just get in the habit of packing a lunch. You'd think after 20+ years supporting NAVSEA that I'd have this figured out better. :/

Saturday, May 18, 2013

My Version of an Apocalypse: The End of the World as We Know It Would Suit Me Just Fine

The older I get, the more ideas I am exposed to, the more information that has become so readily available on the internet, the more I think that some sort of 'the end of the world as we know it' would be good for us. I mean really, we're all hosed up! And we always have been. I'd like to see an end to the world that feels like a real miracle. We all - every single human being on Earth - we wake up one morning having all had a deep spiritual awakening. We all know how to make smart choices, we save our planet, we stop abusing ourselves, and one another, we lay down our arms, we feed the world, we explore the universe, we get smarter and smarter, we cure disease, we live in harmony. {More later, I'm getting off so Christopher can play Minecraft.}

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Weekday Evening Fun

I didn't sleep well Sunday night, so was tired kinda all day yesterday. But then I had THE BEST evening w/the kids, and slept like a log last night! So after discovering Christopher's bedroom wall "mural" :), he asked me to go outside and play tennis with him, Phoebe and some neighborhood friends were already outside playing. Some of Phoebe's friends just adore Christopher, and are good at including him in their play (which warms my heart). We all ran around outside for over two hours, playing tag, racing, playing limbo, sword fighting (foam sword versus swim noodle), making human pyramid configurations, riding bikes and scooters, playing with the tennis rackets and ball, and throwing those leaf/seed helicopter things... all with no electronic devices, no whining, no bickering, and no injury. We didn't go inside until it was almost pitch dark, we were dirty, hungry, and exhausted. It was awesome. :)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Back to Blogging

My gosh... it's been so long. I keep meaning to get back to it, there's a bunch of posts brewing in my head, but I always get overcome by events. I have such a busy life. But here I am today, so welcome back, stay tuned for more.