Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Unfinished Conversations

I get so distracted when M&J are in town, I feel like we start more conversations than we finish, then I get distracted by the kids, or the garage. So, just wanted to finish some thoughts that came up while y'all were here.

On Circumcision. My conversation with you, Mom, leads me to believe that you have not done much research on the subject - which is fine since you are not likely to be deciding about many circumcisions in the near future, and are not even likely to be giving much advice on circumcision, probably. While the argument "a boy should look like his father" is a handy way to be okay with having one intact and one circumcised grandson, it really holds no real merit. My children certainly glimpse me nude, but we do not compare genetalia. I'd rather explain to my son why he is intact when he's old enough to ask, than cut parts of his baby privates off. Think about your own private parts - in and around are ALL very sensitive and full of nerves - right? So are theirs. The arguments used to support male circumcision are the same as those previously used to support female circumcision.

I understand of course the desire/need to respect Dianne's decision to circumcise AJ. I made CJ's circumcision in the exact same faulty manner that I believe Dianne made AJ's circumcision decision - by asking only a select few, none of whom had any experience with both Intact and Circumcised boys and men. CJ is intact due to luck, not good decision making. My research into how circumcision became "routine" was disturbing. I just want people to be more informed.

Ok, now I can't remember what other conversations I thought were unfinished. Either there were none, or I just put my brain into NOCIRC mode and can't think of what else I had in mind. Either way, more later.

4 comments:

  1. ah, my sweet sister, you are very wrong about how my decision was made! I actually DID ask lots of people-- medical professionals, friends, IRL and OL, and even actually have experience with both circumcised and uncircumcised men! Our decision was made IN PART because I wanted (and so did Dre) for AJ to look like his dad--but that was not the only thing I based my decision on! Not even close...

    if you want to discuss further, I'd be happy to, as long as we don't argue. there's lots of information out there, and I'd be happy to share how WE came to our decision.

    ReplyDelete
  2. one last thing. you say you researched how circumcision became routine--did you research the benefits vs. detractors for circumcision? there are many many reputable sources for information--if you're going to be informed, be INFORMED!!

    (researching one side of the argument is not educating yourself and does not lend to informed decisions --even if it is the "right decision for you and your family")

    ReplyDelete
  3. okay, I Know I said one last thing.

    so really, one last thing.

    Circumcision is a PERSONAL FAMILY DECISION--and each parent does what they think is best. Dre and I did what we thought best. And so did you and JR. Just because they are different things, doesn't make one better than the other, more or less educated, more right than wrong.

    okay, maybe 2 things. you may not be comparing genetalia at your house--but kids do! and you know that kids are very mean for very stupid hurtful and childish reasons over miniscule, simple irrelevant things!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm glad your decision was made in a more well-informed manner than mine was - good for you. I have done my best to research BOTH sides of the circ debate - you'll notice I have Circ Neutral & Pro Circ sites listed right below my NOCIRC resources listed to the right. And yes, I would be interested in whatever resources you used to make your decision.

    I just can't get okay with why it's considered "circumcision" for boys and "mutilation" for girls. Surgical removal of genetalia pieces/parts is just NOT necessary. I understand it IS a personal/family decision, I just don't think it SHOULD be. I've heard (I think) most pro-circ arguments, and none of them justify the procedure. not in my mind anyway.

    ReplyDelete